October 2007


seriously speaking , i feel ten years younger

Same butter cookies i ate ten years ago,

same damn fever from ten years ago (just not as high, with no need for hospital)

But I’m so good that i can lower my temperature by two degrees easily.

“Won’t you get a cold?”
“Nope, idiots never get colds.” — true enough, i haven’t gotten a cold yet.

A slight thing to learn — we should always see a doctor the moment the smallest symptoms show (i.e. sore throat) It is however unlikely that i will see the doctor earlier the next time i have a sore throat (because of trouble etc) More often than not, it is also due to an overconfidence in one’s body to stay healthy and not fall  apart.  We often think “ah, its just the *usual* sore throat — no big, i’ll get wel by popping lozenges and drinking water” but we really wouldn’t know the severity until it reaches the severe stage.

I’m annoyed that i spent so much time sleeping. re

I read a book lately on how to find a good partner/counsel. It includes the people you should be wary of.

I have learnt a lot.

One of the most major lessons i learnt is to not let anyone i know get a glimpse of that book.
(especially if i want to partner with them and vice versa)

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Today was the last day of school. It is unlike me to get nostalgic about virtually anything. Besides, it’s not as much can be remembered from anything before this year.

I must admit, i’d rather have a Save Point to go back to at the start of 2006 where i clammed up quite a bit (for reasons i do not know/recall). I’m glad that I opened up again this year, creating a more enjoyable and perhaps more memorable a year.

I’d attribute this to three reasons
1. working together on a project to get people to reproduce more (;
The first time i worked with my corner (4/5 of which take bio) A relationship built out of a coincidence of mutual benefit. A common bilateral ties argument is that such a relationship is superficial and stops the moment the benefit stops. Not exactly true, is it?

2. PE ponning — this spans back to even last year. Common interests breed friendship. There isn’t anyone else to talk to anyway since everyone else is in the sun etc. Kudos to doing minimal PE this year and spending quite a number of sessions in the sac.

3. church — probably resulted in *some* gradual move to more openness (minimal as it may be, it beats nothing)

All of us will probably split paths next year with different interests and subjects and probably new friends to come. My belief that everything is temporal obviously has not changed but has led to a different outcome/reaction based on the same principle.

Figure out for yourself what the difference is.

It is often assumed that a person is rational in all his actions. Rationality is defined by doing “what is best” for one self. Thus far, my thinking is mainly shown through pragmatism and practicality.

Of late however, my actions have been seen to be irrational. For a long time, it was never hard to fall ill on certain days (i.e.flu/diarrohea/nasi lemak poisoning, so can’t swim/go for celebration) but on Tuesday, where there was a fire drill and chinese karaoke, i actually was well and fine, surprisingly. 17 others however were all ill. The air must have been bad in class. If there was anything simulated about the fire drill, it was the scorching fireball in the sky. Not like a fire will happen. Missing out on a drill won’t really be much of a loss..

And once more today, I didn’t go home at 10 to collect my geog book for my o levels in the afternoon, being the remaining less than ten in class (before i went to a certain place to sleep) to do virtually nothing. Yeah sure, i like doing absolutely nothing in class.

Alright, so i have cleared my locker and returned my school library book and received my report book… what’s left in school? Finally, after considering for a short while whether or not i’ll be well enough to go for the last day of school, it turns out that today wouldn’t be the last day i wear the black tie. It turns out that i’ll be carrying tables tomorrow. Great joy.

All of these are without a reason. It can be considered to be an action that is irrational. Yet I’m going ahead anyway.
I’d like to find out why.

I must admit though, i don’t regret going for tuesday since the karaoke was quite an experience (and watching C emcee) C however has been a very positive peer pressure in managing to convince me to go to school (and subdue the demon of laziness). Pity I won’t be seeing him tomorrow afternoon.

Perhaps it isn’t a moral issue: To rationalise my course of action and look at it as a comparison of benefits — i have two options a) go b) don’t go. A is driven by laziness and the need to rest/ the opportunity cost of staying at home etc. B is driven by…? Most probably the possibility that something good may happen if i get out of the house and interact with others. But isn’t that too, as irrational as gambling? Not so, if you compare it to staying at home and cutting away the possibility totally.

Often people think that “I must go, otherwise i may get into trouble”
A more positive way would be to think that “I must go, otherwise i may miss out on good opportunities”

Perhaps my laziness has been trumped by the possibility for opportunities to take place?

quite simple: because the food is free and that the serving quantity is up to my choice.

I have come to realise that fasting would be a lot easier with my sleep habits messed even further than they already are.
Fasting hours are from: 7am-7pm.
My sleep hours can be tailored to be 11am-7pm with the rest of the day 7pm-11am spent awake.

Observation tells me that fasting (or rather stuffing all meals before and after sunset/rise) either makes damn skinny people or damn fat…

Anyway i don’t believe in fasting — personal belief that my Father does not want his child to go hungry. (other comments kept to self) — i can if i want to though.

Now to do a light hearted quiz i haven’t done for a long time. This is from Chan’s blog (ok, can’t be THAT light hearted la, foresees some emo tone to it XD). As usual i wouldn’t have read the quiz on his small fonted blog (for teh small ey-) until i paste it here:

Layer 1: On the outside
Name:
Birth date: 13th November 1991 (i may be lying about the birth date, but its approaching!)
Current Status: ?
Eye colour:white
Hair Colour: Black, brow, white — take your pick/pick your take

Layer 2: On the inside
My heritage: nothing pure, majority chinese, bits of white.
My fear: getting kitchenknived ><
My weakness: laziness, passiveness, lack of speed in action/reaction
My perfect pizza: plain cheese (am in no way perfectionist)

Layer 3: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
My first thought of waking up: wait, is it morning or evening right now?
My bedtime: all over the place, usually after midnight or after noon
My most missed memories: hmm, i clear my memories at the end of every year, so i don’t have much to recall. I don’t really believe in staying in the past, but instead we should live in the present and look to the future! It’s probably some time when i went out with someone(s) either one or two years ago. nothing in specific that i remember

Layer 4: My pick.
Pepsi or Coke: no soft drinks, plain water or alcohol.
Single or group dates: each has their own merits. But i think i’m often travelling threes or fours (if not twos)
Adidas or Nike: nike shoes, adidas shirt (vietnam ftw)
Vanilla or Chocolate: vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee (i want more CATERER coffee!)

Layer 5: Do you?
Smoke: nope. and i never will
Do you curse: Hell yeah, no sh-
Take a shower: everyday, not to keep clean but cos i like the water
Have a crush: n-no..! O-of course not?! urusai urusai urusai!
Go to school: pretty much
Believe in yourself: yes and no, i’m not too sure really
Think you’re a health freak: not at all, no exercise, no sun, no sweat, just food, water and irregular sleep

Layer 6: In the past
Drink alcohol: course not, i’m a minor and i never lie
Gone to the mall: yeah, i’m not that much of an otaku, i stil have some semblance of a life.
Dyed your hair: nope, too much trouble.

Layer 7: Have you ever..?
Played a stripping game: that depends on what you mean by…
Change who you were to fit in: consider that i dont have a set definition to “who i am”

Layer 8: Are you hoping to
Get married: uh, yeah — contrary to common perception, i’m not gonna be asexual/a priest or something

Layer 9: In a partner
Best eye colour: doesn’t matter, does it? It’s asian country and i cant choose stuff like Red
Best hair colour: anything
Long or short hair: wa lau eh… ><

Layer 10: What were you doing?
A minute ago: reading hidden order
An hour ago: on the train with craw on the way home
A Month ago: probably talking to people who haven’t got their xbox 360s yet ><
A Year ago: probably chatting with people yet to have O levels/discussing about certain covert holiday activities

Layer 11: Finish the sentences..
I love: hiding
I hide: everything
I miss: nothing really, i put my past behind me pretty easily.
…….. (honestly i would have preferred something more..) I wonder if the KKYS has quizzes, i shouldgo raid the archives and leave a tag (though the older versions: i.e. b*nh*ts*s*n and g*nj*ts* or even h*****h*nt* are sure to have quizzes)

“In life, there is always the presence of crossroads where major decisions have to be made.” How apt to have been the first line of my 3000+ word project last year (on junior colleges, my dilemma for last year)

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
And this photo was used for my ISO poster that scored me pretty high (thanks madam m—-)

It’s quite a simple dilemma — IB subject options and it can be summed up as:
Higher Math versus Higher English — which should i take? No doubt, a post of boredom, i would have preferred to lay off academics on the blog but it cant be helped if it will be the question taht bugs me for the next two months.

Basic logic: consider the criterias involved (floh would laugh at me here for my parkpole/metrerule)
Criteria 1: What is best for myself?
Taking whatever that benefits more/is more important to uni and in the long run.
In other words, this results in “Friends ” having a lower priority =\ since friends come and go, and while i have opened up a lot more this year i stil keep the belief that a lot of things are still pretty much temporal. We’ll all make new friends anyway and being in the same class is not a prerequisite anyway. Furthermore there are some who WILL be in different classes already anyway (i.e. SB in my class and E who may take HL chem *cough* urk)

Enjoyment probably also goes down the line. Besides, enjoyment is moot — i like math on the same level as i like reading LIT (lit ><) somewhere in between. I also think that enjoyment can be cultivated. Furthermore people do not do well because they enjoy the subject (i mean i like bio, somewhat) but they enjoy it because they do well.

Which leads to
Criteria 2: Which is more important — getting a a)higher total score or b) fulfilling prerequisite subjects
A higher score will be helpful for a scholarship (which i’ll prob need to not go NUS) and getting admissions but prerequisite subjects are course specific.

Which leads us on to
Criteria 3a: Overall points — would math or english give me a higher total points?
3a. Higher English is not much different from SL english apart from having four more books and a bit harsher on marking.
Math on their hand is supposedly having a larger difference. The total from HL eng SL math would be higher than SL eng HL math since it dips more for math and virtually none for eng (or so i speculate)

Criteria 3b: Prequisite subjects — which is more necessary for uni courses, English or Math?
3b. Math wins hands down — esp if im considering econs in the long run. English would “help” law and journalism but SL woudl do just fine and it is not a prerequisite. However compare a lower grade higher level math with a higher grade standard level math, which would have more value?

Overall, it’s quite a gamble on striking a balance and hopefully going beyond that. I feel some urge to draw a useless speculatory graph (which may incorporate my this year’s grades to predict a trend) I can’t really do much apart from pray and trust God in this case.

On a more saucy note, if the issue was about enjoyment vs importance, it will be like marrying a woman i don’t love only because she’s rich and is a CEO or something >< (while i get to stay at home and sleep, play xbox, read manga, watch anime and korean dramas like aunties, ferry kids from school, cook, clean and wash.)

How much i want that, is a different issue altogether =x
(oh, why is there a tag called evolution-of-gender-roles, does that mean there may be more of such tags to come?)

By Flames Shall The Earth Be Reborn is what the Latin phrase means and is basically the rational for recreating a blog (for the uh, fifth time now?). It’s quite a commonly used line by psychos who want to destroy the world, not that it is reflective of any destructive streak of mine.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
And i was thinking that this may have been our smoking neighbours if it wasnt for not seeing trees lying around. We all know that it is harder to reconstruct than to destroy as can be seen in the post-meiji era and even the revolution in China. Its quite a high cost to rebuild something from scratch, but not in my case at least.

Being absolutely optimistic, i expect to turn stagnant and hop again in due time. It’s pretty much like Russia having up to twelve five year plans (all of which were not very efficient) and sacking officials whenever a specific area (i.e. industry) went wrong — likewise constant blog changing isnt going to solve the underlying problem (most probably that of laziness and apathy)

Nevertheless, I’ve taken a step out of the dark room. Most of the blogs after my first one were locked away in secrecy and kept private to a small select group (so damn communist i tell you) This time, it’d be more open. Quite representative and symbolic of my character change over time as well if you get what i mean. In other words, no more “no linking, no telling others” policy. The jocks can come for all i care.

In all honesty, it’s really because i have already gotten too bored for two weeks of nothingness (i do have plans though!) Then again i get bored pretty easily, if i’m not wrong, i should be playing Star Ocean/Tales of Phantasia/random rpg but have already gotten bored.