…

No doubt, my energy and flame has been rekindled for something important to me lately. It’s been a few weeks now. Perhaps I was never really in a true state of fatigue and apathy — judging from my actions at least.

But of late, I realised that I’m gradually losing joy in something else. A by-product of too much thinking perhaps.

If these two were to clash, should it not be obvious what the rational decision will be?

On a side note — i’m right now in a dilemma 1am in the morning — is getting food worth the effort of getting out of bed? It’s a clash between laziness and hunger.

 

Finally…a taste of rest.

So I decided to mess about and make changes to the blogskin. My custom header image of the Crossroad remains the same.

Apart from that, I got rid of the useless parts of the site index and fit in new stuff, mainly the tag section and the blog stats. I’m not too sure whether the blog stats actually work. If they do, they don’t count the user’s own viewing — which i suppose is smart.

The current 280 is both large and small at the same time. Compared to the blogs of others, i’d say this is very small. My classmate, Mr F‘s blog that covers educational/ tuition stuff seems very “into” the blogosphere. His count — is 8000 more than mine. I’d expect the KKYS to have a few thousand also considering that its been awhile for quite sometime (and heh heh, it is automatically accessed everytime I ‘Restore Previous Session’ for my firefox. just happens to be one of te few hundred windows that are open) .

Compared to my expectations, that obviously is huge. Almost worrying. i do after all prefer things smaller and more personal anyway.

There are several things i need to do:
1. Clear my room — note, clear, not clean. The problem is I have so many stacks of books, I have absolutely no idea where to put them. And I already have thrown away random working paper. Where could I chuck all my clutter to at least make space for my new books which will (mostly) come on Thursday? I reckon rushing through my room the night before to get it cleared. It’s probably possible just not easy. I’d rather have another few days of carrying furniture.

2. Cut my hair — getting too thick and too long for my liking. Personally i prefer short hair? But I havent cut since the september holiday. Two days before the Republic P. debate finals to be specific. Technically I can last one hair cut a term. Except that I forgot to count in the holidays as part of the term. In other words, it has already exceeded one term by now. When I cut, it’ll have to be extra short. Heck, I’ll wait for december. I’ll cut when I can tie my hair.

3. Collect my books for next year — This probably marks me deciding on my options already. I’ll get the privilege of not stepping out of my house till Thursday to collect almost all my books. Namely all the SL english books (maybe with the three that A lost), IOC and Hist notes (made by A), uh an econs photocopied text, HL math book (with file and notes).
Estimated price I’ll pay: $100+
Estimated price I would have to pay for the originals:around $400

There probably are people willing to offer them at lower prices, but fair enough la. I’m too lazy to wait too long for prices to drop. I believe that I’m saving quite a bit already.

Though I need to get my Bio book. I’m rather unwilling to buy it since I already have an ib bio book at home but they changed the syllabus.

This week is expected to be a great (while plain) week for resting. Its been so busy for the past two weeks with meeting people back to back etc. (and my first week of holidays were spent being ill) Time sure passes fast. It’s week four already. Time is tight. I’d probably need to use my time more wisely from now on.

Next week december will be near.

 

Moral irrationality 001

It is often assumed that a person is rational in all his actions. Rationality is defined by doing “what is best” for one self. Thus far, my thinking is mainly shown through pragmatism and practicality.

Of late however, my actions have been seen to be irrational. For a long time, it was never hard to fall ill on certain days (i.e.flu/diarrohea/nasi lemak poisoning, so can’t swim/go for celebration) but on Tuesday, where there was a fire drill and chinese karaoke, i actually was well and fine, surprisingly. 17 others however were all ill. The air must have been bad in class. If there was anything simulated about the fire drill, it was the scorching fireball in the sky. Not like a fire will happen. Missing out on a drill won’t really be much of a loss..

And once more today, I didn’t go home at 10 to collect my geog book for my o levels in the afternoon, being the remaining less than ten in class (before i went to a certain place to sleep) to do virtually nothing. Yeah sure, i like doing absolutely nothing in class.

Alright, so i have cleared my locker and returned my school library book and received my report book… what’s left in school? Finally, after considering for a short while whether or not i’ll be well enough to go for the last day of school, it turns out that today wouldn’t be the last day i wear the black tie. It turns out that i’ll be carrying tables tomorrow. Great joy.

All of these are without a reason. It can be considered to be an action that is irrational. Yet I’m going ahead anyway.
I’d like to find out why.

I must admit though, i don’t regret going for tuesday since the karaoke was quite an experience (and watching C emcee) C however has been a very positive peer pressure in managing to convince me to go to school (and subdue the demon of laziness). Pity I won’t be seeing him tomorrow afternoon.

Perhaps it isn’t a moral issue: To rationalise my course of action and look at it as a comparison of benefits — i have two options a) go b) don’t go. A is driven by laziness and the need to rest/ the opportunity cost of staying at home etc. B is driven by…? Most probably the possibility that something good may happen if i get out of the house and interact with others. But isn’t that too, as irrational as gambling? Not so, if you compare it to staying at home and cutting away the possibility totally.

Often people think that “I must go, otherwise i may get into trouble”
A more positive way would be to think that “I must go, otherwise i may miss out on good opportunities”

Perhaps my laziness has been trumped by the possibility for opportunities to take place?