I am right now in a rather reflective mood over a number of issues — most of which have no relevance with this post. It is approximately 3am by now about an hour plus since my last convo.
One wonders: perhaps sometimes people know more than you think they do or at least more than you do. There ought to be certain things that caused people to say certain things. More often than not, its something you don’t know, but there’s always a reason for it. Even if it may be a mere coincidence or casual remark, I’d believe that inevitability has set a reason for it or at least people’s good instinct may have brought it about.
There are few rules of life (they get more and more each time) one of them is to listen to advice as much as possible. Especially from more experienced people and people who know more about certain issues.
Another rule of life: never make anyone angry. As far as possible, avoid it. Regardless of whether its expressed or bottled up — the outcome can’t be nice either way. Heck, the side of me in control right now thinks that it is highly probable that some things go against my interest to uphold this principle. Then again, I have committed some grievances as well… Obviously, this applies to all people but receiving special warnings may mean an additional caution sign. Perhaps in such instances, I should stay away… It is after all better to be safe than to be kitchenknived sorry (dumdumdum, consequences.)
But is there more to just avoiding anger? What about never wanting others to be sad? what about always wanting others to be happy? These three may be one and the same but I’d think that the last two are greater. The first about Anger Aversion is an action that seems largely driven by self interest maybe even fear. The last two are more altruistic in my opinion. I think that nobody is able to show care and concern to someone they don’t care about regardless of the benefits that may follow. No doubt benefits may follow — but they are not the main focus, it’s true care and concern.
And that surprisingly is what I am striving for. Despite how cynical or pessimistic or even pragmatic, I have come to view friends not as mere “means to various ends” or income. I believe that they are in and of themselves valuable. (I’d rather not tag any terms to it right now, knowing the bad word choice and propensity to use a word with connotations of objects)
The thing is — it’s never easy. Not that I don’t want to, but I just don’t know what to do. I’d think I’m a rather bad source of comfort. Its not that I do not sympathise, I just can’t express it. Is silently observing while present the most that I am able to do? Perhaps a prayer I can offer even.
Right at this late hour (or rather early hours in the morning), I’ve come to see Jesus more as a friend. Someone who is for sure available in my time of need. As a person who is extremely indecisive, that seems to be essential. Heck, it’d be essential even if i was more decisive. But giving it more thought has led me to realise that we don’t only spend time with our friend’s when we are sad, we want to when we’re happy as well. We want to as much as possible.
Reflections in this post-midnight hours have given me greater insight about Jesus and Man and myself. Yet, in any case, we must be wary of those who have bad intentions. I have heard of a story of a severe backstabbing recently driven by jealousy. Often when i used the term “judas” this year (for reasons of pur efun and teasing) I mean something more like Pang-Seh or abandonment. But on a more realistic note, this should be reserved for actualy plotting and turning against someone. Yes, people like that do exist. And I trust that Jesus will open our eyes and give us wisdom to discern who may bring harm to us and who we may be able to depend on.
Hidden Valley 