Irrational btw is my polite way of saying Boosheet. I happen to be sick for the week. And tomorrow happens to be a day with no lessons, instead some lame celebratory thing of handing out awards which i’m sure all of us are looking forward to. Imagine all the things we can do: apart from clap and clap and clap and .. nothing. It’s what i have considered for four years to be meaningless, with no purpose or benefit or even the slightest reason for being there.
No doubt i have made it a resolution not to skip — wholly out of pragmatic purposes, in case i miss something that is important. It is unlikely that i would want to skip on any day. Lessons are very important and in fact now they are enjoyable much like last year where they were inflicted with things like chemistry.
But I am not skipping — I’m ill. Medically and legally, I can be exempt from what i deem pointless. And for some reason, I’m actually thinking of going tmr. If i were to go tmr, I should laugh at my intelligence and detest how much my mind has degraded into raw stupidity. Why the hell — would i even consider. I am quite concerned that I might really go for no apparent reason. The irrationality! Am i a son of a fool?
Because it’s the right thing.
Hell, as if i ever gave a damn about that!
Is everything just a means to an end? Or are we to enjoy this along the process anyway? This puts an end to the Series of Dilemmas about my subjects (I hope I am right at least). It is almost like the end of a short journey, Ironically, it is just the beginning. More like the end of one manga arc before moving on to the next major arc. The decision i made is probably more permanent and I have given it more than sufficient thought by now. Above all, I had prayed on it (and am still continuing to do so)
Perhaps it’s chance that someone who just changed to my HL math class has the SL book whereas i have the HL book. I foresee good coincidence of mutual benefit here.
In the most metaphorical way (and i happened to be very amused by this analogy) i can put this — I’m rejecting the richer girl for someone else who does not necessarily have house and lands. I personally gave thought about this scenario before and my conclusion was clear as to what I would to given such a situation. Somehow, back then, it just did not coincide with my view about subjects.
Ohwell. There probably is some loss, not. What matters is that I am happy. Riches are often the end goal of people. From my point of view, riches are never the end goal. Theyre just a means to an end — happiness. Riches should never come in the way of happness.
Either way, I trust that the future is on that is going to be well taken care of, so why should i take the unnecessarily harder way? Better that I do something I’d enjoy more now. I earlier said that “emotions, preferences, likings are all subjective” and can be controlled. Perhaps not.
Truth be told — I am hoping to get into 5.14 right now. And if anything, I absolutely do NOT want to get into 5.17. I pray that everything works out for the best and goes smoothly. But that being said, it will be unfortunate, nevertheless to part with my jew corner — there’s always bio for that.
In any case, this has essentially been a learning experience; a chance for me to grow and mature, perhaps even grow closer to God as he guides me through al these. I am quite sure that I will eventually have to make more choices, probably harder ones. This time, I had settled for what a historian could consider to be inevitable — predetermined to happen frm the start. The idea of math might have been like “making an eagle swim and a fish fly” right from the start anyway.
On a side note, I somehow feel some sentimental value or even pride in looking at the two rows of words below a signature on the paper I have just gotten. Somehow, I find the two rows of six words in total symbolic. they are-
Hidden Valley 